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2018年秋、宮崎県三股町でデザインのセミナー（の、事前講座）が行われた。
ほんとうに、本当に軽い気持ちで参加してしまって、参加できなかった人には申し訳ない気持ちでいっぱいになった初日。
え、あなたはデザインの仕事をしているの？
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え。こんど起業する！？
周りは目つきが違っていた。
とんでもないところに来てしまったと、不安と絶望しかない中、小さくなって椅子に座っていた。
「やばい、私、何もできない」
私の唯一の誇れることは高校の時美術でオール5だったこと。むしろ、それしかない。（中学の時は3～5で、オール5ではない）
だ、大丈夫。色相環とか覚えてるし。
強がってみるものの、だから何だと言えばそう。
座学ではわかっていても、実践できなければ意味がない。
そう、意味がないのだ。
学生の時の成績なんて関係ない。
今、自分の技術で誰かを喜ばせることができるか？
対価を支払ってもらえるか？
――将来、デザイナーになれますか？
仕事にするということは、クラスメイトに「絵が上手だね」と言われるレベルでは、まだまだ足りないのだ。
めまいがするほど現実が襲ってくる。
参加者と講師の自己紹介が終わると、早速今回使う「Adobe Photoshop」の説明が始まった。
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